Wednesday, back to work.
You never know what to expect coming back after a short stint, but to my surprise, I was missed.
People I know, who I tend to think I’m maybe below their radar, surprise me the most.
Like today, a crucial moment of sharing turned into a real moment of understanding and care.
That I’m grateful for.
A small gesture, but one that was much needed for the occasion and circumstances.
It’s interesting how people can make you feel seen and understood in one moment, while other situations leave you feeling the need to speak up for yourself. Today reminded me of both.
I’ve come to a conclusion, and this isn’t the first time I’ve thought about this subject.
I once talked about how, if something is easy, do it easy. If it’s hard, do it hard.
This thought came about because, for weeks, I have ignored something I know I needed to do to pass the test.
That was to stand on what I believe and say what needs to be said.
Not with disrespect. Not from a place of anger, but out of love and respect for myself.
I needed to set some things straight with people.
One, because I’m the silent type. And though I come off soft-spoken, I am kind, not nice.
I want to give people a chance to correct themselves, so sometimes I let things go.
What I’ve learned is that people don’t see certain things as wrong, especially if it’s something they’ve been taught and have been doing daily all their lives.
Where my dilemma was, I didn’t want to come off rude or pushy because, well, I have no reason to.
I simply told the person I needed to speak to, “Hold on, right now is not a good time.”
As short and direct as that was, I could tell it made the person think they’d done something awful.
They avoided me for most of the day, but I didn’t follow up.
I said what I needed to and dropped it.
And I felt better, too.
Here I am, holding something that’s weighing on my mind because I’m worried about hurting someone’s feelings. Yet for weeks, I haven’t felt that same consideration in return. Had there been some, maybe this conversation wouldn’t have been necessary.
In my years of rebuilding and solitude, I have learned many things about myself and about others.
That’s why my favorite line and motto for this whole year has been:
“You are Responsible.”
And I constantly remind myself that it is me who has to do the work.
I don’t mean for this to be a preachy piece, and since this is my outlet for the month of October, from time to time you may see a few entries like this.
Day 7. My first full week.
Thank you for reading, always.
— Tip