It is December 12th, 6:50 PM. I am sitting on a bench across from the Embarcadero, watching the lights reflect off the buildings.
For a long time, I wouldn’t have been on this bench. I wouldn’t have turned on the microphone. And I definitely wouldn’t be sharing this.
The “Old Garry” was a perfectionist. He was critical. He was afraid of his own voice — literally. I used to record videos and never talk because I wasn’t “comfortable” hearing myself playback. I spent a month recording workouts in silence because I convinced myself I wasn’t ready to speak.
But tonight, looking at the city, I realized something: The Old Garry is dead.
He died the moment I started stacking “receipts.”
The Receipts
We often wait to feel confident before we take action. I’ve learned it works the other way around. You take action, and confidence is the receipt you get for doing the work.
When I look at my last three months, I have proof that I am a new person:
- I started a YouTube channel.
- • I’m building apps.
- • I launched a newsletter.
- • I’m in the middle of a 30-day writing challenge.
- • I haven’t missed a workout.
- These aren’t just tasks; they are evidence. The Old Garry would have quit when it got hard or awkward. The New Garry has routes, routines, schedules, and budgets.
I Am Responsible
The biggest shift wasn’t in my schedule; it was in my vocabulary. I stopped saying “I hope” and started saying “I am responsible.”
• I am responsible for my discipline.
• I am responsible for my fear.
• I am responsible for my future.
Nothing changes unless I change. And I decided to change.
The Voice
I’m still getting used to the sound of my voice. When I play it back, I sometimes think, “Who is that?”
But I realized that discomfort is just the sound of growth. I don’t want the Old Garry back. He got me to this point, and I appreciate him for surviving, but he can’t take me where I’m going next.
I am stronger. I am wiser. I am capable.
And most importantly, I am doing it.